Let it be known, the 3rd day of March, in the year of 2021 Virginia left this mortal plane to be with her soulmate, Ed.
I’m crushed.
HUGS. Big Hugs for you. 
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Peace Rev. Live the life those you’ve lost would want you to live.
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It must be doubly painful to lose her so close to the anniversary of your dad. I know it must hurt a lot. We are here if you need to lean on us.
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My deepest condolences to you and your family.
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Such a tough one to swallow, hon. Take it one day at a time. Live for them. And know that they have a place in your heart where their memory lives strong and true. Sending you love and Taff sized hugs!
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Big, Taff-size hugs from me, too. 
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Oh Revzman, I am so sorry to hear of your losses. I wish you peace moving forward and also echo Taff’s hugs as well. Huggggggsssss from pooches work really well too…
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I’m also sending a Taff-sized hug. My thoughts are with you. Hang in there.
this might be out of context … the discussion of mental state I’m simply offering this up to you revzman.
I began weight lifting again, done it off and on through my life, this was the longest stretch due to reasons. I was listening to “Joe Rogan” and his “do something … just begin” hit and I started on the road weight lifting again begining last May. On average I worked out twice a week with a small 20-25 minute set with 10 minutes of stretching. Did that through the end of January with two set backs (back got tweaked moving something). January I threw together a mix of 6 routines uppder body , lower body, legs, core, back, shoulders … been doing that now a solid twice a week as it’s an ass kicker lol at this age I but also giving myself time to adjust to all the new aches and pains. This time around it’s for life like brushing my teeth taking a shower.
Here I started off out of breath barely able to perform 3 push ups … /nods very embarrassing. Today though I can drop to the floor and crank out a solid 40+ without much if any exertion. Now I’ve lost a little mass / weight. I can tell I’m fitting into clothing better which feeds a positive mental state. Sleeping SO much better. At work or home I’m again picking up 25 - 50 lb items (cat sand, 5 gallon water drums, that heavy 15’ fiberglass+aluminum ladder) with ease and I do mean easily. I look the same but I know how much better phystically and mentally I’ve become in this past year. I’ve even began to enjoy playing my video games almost as much as I use to. That uh … “lost interest” in hobbies/activities.
So, just offering this personal experience and maybe as something you might consider trying?
Cheers - Tom
ps: I worry this doesn’t seem off topic … not my intentions.
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Not at all … I guess this post feels out of context and I didn’t want to take up a new chunk of space here. But that’s just me. And I appreciate everything, this board and all the posts really did help, to know my extended internet family always has my back.
I pushed through and ended up joining my groove metal band and got myself back into drumming shape. It really helped me, to have that tight group again. To have the rhythm flowing again. We met through a bandmix website, jammed once, and it was instant. We played a few shows and I ended up taking over the reigns as “digital media manager” … because of course I did! Expanding our reach from just facebook to all the socials and we finally released our EP in august of 2020. We’ve since played 1 or 2 outdoor festivals but my guitarist had some medical issues and we’re waiting on him to recover. Our most recent “accomplishment” is getting instant twitch affiliate status through our music distributor. 
I did finally end up getting a shot in the my middle spine to alleviate the pressure I was having in my shoulder and hands. That was supposed to happen in April 2020 but then covid happened and we shut everything down. I think it was around october when I got it done. So between that and a new staples gaming chair, my overall health improved.
As true then as it is now, keeping busy helps and since I have a lot to keep me busy in regards to paperwork and financials of losing both your parents who had a lot of stuff, both valuable and some clutter.
I’m sure I’ll keep updating this thread as I know you’re all always here for me.
Love and kisses, Zaphod
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My parents died in 2020. My mother first. She was in remission for 12 years and her lung cancer came back with a vengance. The two years prior to my mothers passing was a haze of me doing what I could for her and my dad. She fought for 2 years. My father died 7 weeks later. She was 84 he was 86. This all happened before the first lock-down in March. I also lost an Uncle two days after my mother died. My family had two funerals with a day pause inbetween. Since then, much more has happened. My wife and her requirements for remote teaching (teacher), my son doing his 2nd and 3 year remotely. My daughter doing her senior year in HS remotely. Everyone struggling with the loss, adjusting to “life” and the general anxiety of it all. In August I started kaize. DOing small things incrementally to get out of the haze I was in. FRom August to December I started walking and then running the river trail near where I live. I started reading and focusing on small changes. It gets better. Know you are not alone.
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Thanks for the story. Sorry for your loss and pain. It’ll never be easy. Even my haircutter this morning was going through a recent passing too and we had a quick bond over it.
But as usual, it’s my birthday and I’ll buy if I want to. 27" Dell Gaming monitor, woot!
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(reposted from discord … sorry, if you’ve seen this already)
Well, fam, I’m trying to be a little more present after my mom passed in the beginning of March. I’m still bogged down with sorting out her estate and other financials (i became a landlord with a tenant too!) but I’m sort of on the road to a plan. I’m still losing my shit now and then but keeping it together, except when I think about cleaning out and selling my childhood home.
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This is how I operate these days. I learned this method back when I had my clay studio/gallery business and it was immensely productive and soothing. Soothing because I was able to focus in smaller increments for things that needed doing ‘now’ rather than a bunch of things that had similar deadlines.
I do this to this day when I decide to tackle housework, yard stuff or just annoying chores I would rather not do. This last bit is what doing kaize handles best. I also found that kaize is really effective when I want singular time for myself.
Keep going, things will get better to the point they won’t be such a ‘burden’ they seem to be now. 
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I found this post by accident while searching for “GOG friends”. Wasn’t what I expected but read it and the replies. You wrote something that is exactly like me past few years,
“I will watch some TV with the wife at night and then come to the PC and just stare at my Install Steam Library … then flip to GOG … then flip to Origin … I can’t decide on something to play. The GotM is with my friends (Aelirenn, pointfiveflip, and maverick_x) and we chat regularly on our own facebook time but coming to game night feels like the hardest thing in the world to do.”
I was sitting here doing this right before logging into OTG, ending up here as I couldn’t pick a game to play after finding the server down for game I was going to play, Valheim. I’ve been doing that a lot the past few years, unable to pick a game to play. Sticking with things I know and don’t take a lot of brain power. Learning a new game is too much, which is extra annoying as I do keep buying new cause they sound good, but then don’t play them.
Anyway, back to you. Just wanted you to know I see you and feel for the things you have been going though. The one about the pic of your dad on the dresser also hit home for me. Appreciate your sharing as it may help you, and for some of us that are holding things in. Hoping things have gotten better for you.
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Heyo, ran across this thread. Just wana say, I used to be in the same head-space. (Hell, I still revisit it from time to time) But, I found an escape in painting after watching an episode of Bob Ross one night, his words just hit in just the right way for me to really give it a shot. Later on, when I was having doubts again, I stumbled across this dude. Worth a watch. Good luck.
I watch and fall asleep to Bob Ross every night. 3 years later … And 2 years since the childhood home sold …dealing with my wife having breast cancer for the year (just had a physical mastectomy last week) … Found out my best bud guitarist in my band has prostate and maybe stomach cancer … Been a blast.
I know I’m not in a great place mentally, but say you’re depressed people just reply, oh maybe you’re just really sad.
Okay sure.
Still kicking along at any rate.
Tty in 3 more years. 
Hehe. The difference between “Having depression” and “Being clinically depressed” is very hard to explain to most people.
“Imagine, the worst day in your life, and how you felt at that point. Got that? Okay. Now imagine that being the best you’ve felt in the last 30 years and most days were worse.”