I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just can’t motivate myself to do much of anything. Sure I’m waking up and making coffee and getting the wife off to work, but I’m just not giving a shit about playing EVE, I have trouble paying attention to the admin duties of the forum, I will watch some TV with the wife at night and then come to the PC and just stare at my Install Steam Library … then flip to GOG … then flip to Origin … I can’t decide on something to play. The GotM is with my friends (Aelirenn, pointfiveflip, and maverick_x) and we chat regularly on our own facebook time but coming to game night feels like the hardest thing in the world to do. Then I still have my mom I’m fighting with about where she is going to stay (down at her shore house near me) and how much help she needs and getting HER shit all taken care of (selling junk in my childhood home and potentially selling said home). It all feels so daunting and my ability to schedule things in general is fairly nonexistent, I usually like to fly by the seat of my pants and let shit happen – this is what happens when you role play a Pisces for too long, yes?
Drowning but trying to talk about it.
Oh My Gosh. Been there and still go there.
I came to the conclusion that it’s okay to not give a shit as long I don’t sit in too long.
I recall when my childhood home was cleared out and sold. Hey, I’m a grown woman…but where is my THUMBALINA doll. Am I too old to whine?
My experience was feeling ‘overwhelmed’, ‘depression’, ‘too many people pushing & pulling on me’, ’ too many decisions to make’ = so the only decision I made was to NOT make any decisions. I thought I was stronger then that.
We’re okay! Yes! We’re okay!
= earth to Berean a lot.
I believe you have many life rafts here.
I’m all ears.
Been there, still going through it but it’s not as bad as it was, luckily. Please, get yourself checked out for depression. Meds will help you get a handle on it , then you can be weaned off them.
The other thing to try is to give yourself a schedule. Seriously, try that first. See if it helps.
Sending you a reassuring hug. It’ll all come together. Just give it time.
Overwhelm is a very serious condition that we don’t know enough about or pay enough attention to. I’ve spent much of my life exploring it due to my information processing issues. Overwhelm is when we run out of inner resources to handle what’s happening around us. When we run out of resources, we’re not able to do much (think: a car that’s run out of gas). It can be easy for us to pathologize the understandable effects of overwhelm (the inability to act due to a lack of resources) and call them “depression” or whatever and get scared that there’s something wrong with us. The truth is that we’re simply resting to that we can recharge our battery before attempting another activity.
The only way to reduce overwhelm and its effects are to stop doing so much that we continue to run out of inner resources. Sometimes life doesn’t give us that opportunity and we have to crawl through the period of overwhelm, doing our best to rest as much as we can, not get freaked out about being overwhelmed, and try to titrate the activity somewhat so that we don’t get so overwhelmed.
Hang in there and be kind to yourself. You can only do so much at once. Yes, this period in your life is a lot for you to handle, but it will eventually pass. In the meantime, your friends will hopefully understand that you’re too overwhelmed to enjoy playing with them sometimes.
Sounds like depression. A classic sign of depression is not enjoying things you used to enjoy, or struggling to make yourself do them because you just don’t want to or don’t care. I have been fighting this for a couple of years now on my own (well, with prayer and help from friends, I don’t think mine is “bad enough” to get professional help) . I’m no professional so it’s up to you whether or not you think you should talk to someone. You have ALOT going on, and alot of emotions that are tied up in that that maybe you don’t even realize. Whatever happens, I wish you luck!
I second what Taff said about checking out whether you might be suffering from depression and getting some help with that. Especially if it is not just gaming that you’ve lost all interest and energy for.
My best friend, who has been watching her husband die by inches from a brain tumor for 2.5 years, resisted doing that for the longest time, but it really has helped her. Her situation isn’t less dire or less overwhelming, but it has helped her find the mental and emotional stamina to deal with it a little better. It’s not silver bullet, and it doesn’t help everyone, but it’s worth considering.
As for the overwhelming number of things to do, I can only suggest trying to nibble on them. You probably have some longish list of daunting tasks. Break them down into smaller bites. Make a shorter list of the bite sized bits to do this week or this month or whatever frequency works for you.
When my mom died last year, that’s how I dealt with the need to empty her house, get the house and other property on the market, deal with all the financial fallout, deal with her corporation, etc. Hell, I’m still working through all that, but at least now I’m down to the long, slow-to-resolve parts. I kept a spreadsheet on Google Docs of all the things that needed doing, and my short-term to do list on my phone.
The other thing I did was take some time off work in the beginning. If you can swing it financially, I recommend it. I spent 6 weeks at my mom’s, taking care of business and emptying the house. I can’t say I was a uber productive every day (or even most days!), but not having to juggle work on top of everything else gave me time to both pretend it would all go away if I ignored it (Spoiler: It doesn’t.) and also make progress.
Very sorry you’re struggling, Rev.
I agree with responses for you. I’ve been dealing with ‘grief’ too mosselyn. Along with many life changing issues. Even though I understand what to do doesn’t mean I do it. Lists = sometimes, Eat that elephant in small bites = sometimes, Think my way out of depression = NEVER. Think I can think my way out of depression = LOTS.
YES, seek help if you need too. There is nothing wrong with that.
Huge HUGS …. now where is that darn group hug icon?
see…Lots of life savers.
I knew i could count on my OTG family. I have a hard time with medicating with anything other than caffeine and marijuana … seeing my mom as a walking PDA for many years makes me wary of pharma in general. Talking, I could probably talk … hell, I have just set my son up to talk to a counselor because he’s been having some issues talking through his problems at school. (go figure). I might do the same for myself, but even as I type that the other side of me is saying, “yeah right, sure you will” and kills the do-something side.
While I am not any kind of expert on this type of thing, it could be as other suggested some type of mild depression.
But it sounds more to me that you are simply stressed out, as you are under quite a bit of pressure in dealing with things around your mom. Having been raised by my maternal grandparents I can relate in some way to what your going threw.
All I can tell you based on personal experience is don’t be afraid to seek out a counselor, I now some people think that is a bad word or they can deal with what ever is going on by them selves but that is not always the case. Take me for an example I had to seek out professional help after my grandfather passed. Being a bull-headed early 20 something year old I thought that I could deal with his passing my self and seeking out professional help was more or less for crazy people. For a long time I had my self convinced I could deal with it my self, but to make a long story short. Go ahead and out seek professional help weather you think you need it or not. If the problems in your life are stopping you from functioning well or feeling good, professional help can make a big difference. Take it from someone who knows.
One step at a time. Right now you’re talking to us. Maybe on another day you’ll be ready to talk to a counselor/therapist. Be kind to yourself where you are. You’re dealing with more than anyone can be expected to handle with panache.
Don’t be afraid to be selfish! I’ve learned throughout my life that in order for ME to handle situations that I have to be near my best mentally. I’ve used to be ‘that guy’ that put others first and always thinking about how to make others happy. One day that changed. I learned to not put too much on my plate and take care of what was most important and not sweat everything going on around me. Get your sleep, take care of your body and mind as best you can, this is YOUR life and you only get one. Concentrate on the things that bring you joy and cut out as much stress as possible. Hell, go hiking for a weekend if you need to, just you and nature, recharge… whatever it takes. And also remember that life is full of ups and downs. If you’re down right now just take comfort that it won’t be forever, eventually things will get better.
Thanks, again, really. It has been a shit-show since about this time last year when my mom went into the hospital for some “routine work” which turned into rehab and another surgery and more rehab. Which, if you follow the old forums, culminated in my dad getting hospitalized, leaving the hospital, getting sick and passing away in February 2 weeks later – the day before my mom got out of the hospital.
Yeah, haven’t done much talking about this with too many people.
So sorry you are going through this. It’s a lot to process and I hope you are able to get back to enjoying things again soon. I agree with those who said to see someone. It can certainly help. I had them give me something for a couple months when I smashed my foot last year and that was nothing compared to what you have been going through. And what Decebal said about being selfish - Absolutely. You take care of you first. hugs
and you didn’t mention this, but hopefully everyone is aware that alcohol is a depressant.
remember that the flight attendant instructions: Grab YOUR oxygen mask FIRST.
Yep. Classic depression symptoms. Medication might help or not, it’s always a risk. I fought taking medicines for a long time, eventually couldn’t go on, took the meds, and am now feeling somewhat less shit, but still depressed.
Talking about it and realizing you’re not alone can help. Medicines can help. The smoking definitely does not help (in the long term), I’ve noticed. One thing that did help me though, make sure you schedule enough ‘downtime’ in your personal agenda, and start training yourself to be able to say no.
I was thinking the same thing. You are in my thoughts Revz.
Had a good time this weekend hanging out with my wife while our son was at grandma. Got to loosen up a bit, of course my mom always throws a wrench into it, but we did ok. Back to the grind of work today and I am busy so that keeps my mind from wandering too much. When I am having a down moment, I’m attempting to get through Fallout 3. lol
If I can give myself some direction in my gaming life and Steam/Origin queue, hopefully it will get things in order in other places.
Hehe. I hear that. I feel like i’m at a similar place of transitioning out of the games i’ve been playing and not knowing what i want to do next. So many games, so little time, so few brain resources to sort through them all and make a choice. Hehe. Thanks for keeping us apprised.