My daughter turned 13 almost a year ago. We got into a huge fight tonight over something that didn’t even matter in the end.
It wasn’t too long ago, her and I would do almost everything together from coloring, making silly videos, or playing basketball.
Ugh…I have no idea what my question is at this point. hahaha
I’d end my own life if it meant saving hers, but holy shit…
Look at becoming a teenager like lvling up in DND and hitting lvl 3. You have to pick a subclass, for teenagers that subclass immediately becomes Know-It-All or Know-Better-Than -Your-Parents. That first milligram of hormonal changes and they transform into a petulant, arrogant version of their former selves that quickly forms the opinion that their parents are inferior and they, the teenager, must do everything they can to break the former bond they formed. Unfortunately you can’t de-level them so it’s up to you to make it work because
As hard as teenagers can make things, never reply in anger, something said can not be taken back and can affect your relationship for the rest of your lives. My mother told me when I was fifteen that she “thinks she loved me but she has never liked me.” That hurt me so badly and I rebelled harder. When my son hit his teen years and said something, I wanted to hit back with an equally ugly “truth”, but I held my tongue and instead after all calmed down, we sat down and talked it out. To this day, I am so grateful I never replied to him the way my mother used to attack me. The joke that God made children cute so we didn’t kill them as teens, does hold true. Remember that somewhere in that hormonal tornado of a girl, your little girl is waiting to come back to you, and the way you react will make an impact. All I can say is hang in there, this to shall pass.
It’s so funny, because we are literally the same person and arguing against myself never works hahaha
I appreciate that. She will always be my little girl
My daughter and I were best of friends until she hit like 12–13 years old. Then everything changed. She was unapproachable and blamed me for everything yadah…, Today she is 25 years old and we are once again best friends. It is rare that a parent doesn’t go through this period with a teenager. I have 5 kids and yes have been through it 5 times lol. They were all different for different reasons, but the root cause was the same. They are just trying to figure it all out. Just hang in there and be consistent in what you know to be in her best interest.
A few words of wisdom that stuck with me from a friend of mine when her kids were teenagers:
- Adolescence is Nature’s way of helping parents let go.
- If you’re familiar with management techniques from work, many of the same techniques can be put to good use with your teenager, like ways to de-escalate, motivate, or persuade/manipulate.
I was a pretty good teenager, as teenagers go, and my mom and I were very close, but I still don’t know how she managed to avoid killing me during those years. Good luck!
Thank you wise ones. I will buckle down and prepare for the storm. hahaha
I’ve raised two teenagers and worked with them for years professionally. I have come to the conclusion that each one has an asshole year. Usually it’s around the time they hit 14 or so, it differs per teen. That said, they become selfish, self-obsessed, and argumentative about everything. According to some experts, it has something to do with differentiation from their parents.
It probably does have something to do with their necessary development, but that doesn’t keep us from wanting to lock them in a room until they reach a more copacetic age. LOL!