I wouldn’t go as far as Dr Jones (Sr) but my son is leaving for college in August and I’m starting to feel it. I’m of course really happy that he has done so well and is going to get a great education and have so many opportunities… but after having him here full-time the last two years, I’m going to miss my “little” geek (he is over 6 feet tall now lol).
Just wondering how other Old Timers have dealt with the empty (geek) nest. My wife and I share some geeky interests in that she likes some of the TV shows/movies I like (Marvel/X-Men, Star Wars/Trek) but she isn’t into comics, kaiju/mecha, anime, or tabletop/video games like me and my son so I’m really going to miss having him around to share those interests with. Don’t really have any close friends in real life and have a hard time getting close to people.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy he is starting this stage of his life and it is everything I’ve worked so hard for… but I’m going to miss the hell out of him when he goes and not sure what to I’m going to do with myself.
Well after 20 years of my Mom living with me and my wife, we are actually glad she got her own apartment, however that isn’t what I wanted for her. I wanted her to go into a facility with more immediate medical care available. That said, the stress levels in the house are much lower and maybe sad to say but I don’t miss her. Still see her on weekends for a bit.
Just went though this myself. It helps that fall break will come soon, and you can Skype/FaceTime.
For us though, we sort of looked back at the kind of things we used to do before kids while dating. So we got the mountain bikes serviced and are going for rides. We started hitting the gym. We come home and have a happy hour on the back porch. There are nights for our TV. I went to TV Guide and created a watchlist to learn about a bunch of new shows, and we can go through that together without the constraint of finding something the kids like too. It is a slow process rediscovering each other after so long of having the focus on kids.
Yeah I know in some ways things will be a little easier in terms of the hours we keep and things we do… everything won’t revolve around him as much day to day and we’ll have some more time for “date nights” and stuff. But my wife and I only had him full-time the last two years (I’m remarried) so it isn’t like it’s been so long since we had time to ourselves. The main thing is I’m losing my geek buddy. sniff
We just went through that with our one-and-only. I think we moped around the house for about 3 weeks. When she came home for Thanksgiving break and Winter break, all she did was hang out with friends and sleep, we hardly saw her.
It’s getting easier. When something really bad happens, she calls me, only to feel right as rain after the phone call and I’m left in a puddle of tears. She calls her dad to talk about academics, so he gets most of the phone calls, which is a good thing.
I miss her something awful, but I couldn’t be more proud of who she is and what she stands for. That’s my balance : knowing she is on the right path + missing her at the same time = a more mature and loving relationship that we are curating.
The one thing I do love about an empty nest…I have the time to do stuff for me, if and when I so desire. Woot!!
All the best Ranter. Gonna go have a good cry now.
My older kids live with their dad most of the year, summers with me. So our relationship is mostly via text and the occasional phone call. I would suggest trying to find a game that you guys can play together, maybe schedule time each week, even if it’s just “one quick game of Smash Bros” while you’re on the headset together.
That’s the great thing about gaming these days, it’s very much portable, and distance doesn’t have to end your fun times.
Yeah we’re going crazy with Borderlands 2 so planning on Borderlands 3 when it comes out.
Yep I am bracing for a similar experience. He isn’t the most outgoing kid, though we’ll see what happens as I was kind of the same but bloomed somewhat in college, so might be home more on vacations. Hoping for the opposite of course as I want him to meet people and enjoy his time off… even though I’ll miss our early morning YouTube and coffee time and our evening/weekend geek outs playing games and watching classic SciFi. Okay I have to stop before I fall apart. Again.
Yep going to try… though hopefully he will mostly be busy with schoolwork, clubs, socializing… hopefully he will now and then make time for gaming with the old man.
I haven’t replied until now as we’ve been a bit busy getting him ready for his new internship (PAID woot) this week and school as well as my dealing with some knee surgery recovery issues and, well, being sad about the situation. Just trying to spend as much time as I can with him until move in day. Got pretty down yesterday and ended up staying home. Luckily I can work from home (and binge watched some Jessica Jones which had an appropriate mood). But need to make some plans for gaming and socializing once he leaves or it is going to be pretty bad.
His mom and I divorced when he was around 5 and then a year later I married my college sweetheart. She has been great with him and in fact the last two years he lived with us full-time as my wife started working nights and weekends. Been a lot of work but was great for all of us but now that he has been around all the time it is going to be even harder to get used to seeing him even less than I did before (every other weekend and alternating holidays). Seeing if my schedule will work with my old tabletop gaming group and looking at some meetups and game sessions at the local game shop/cafe. Plus will likely be more active in OTG games since I mostly lurk as I’ve been so busy with work and my son.
Guess I am starting to babble but thank you for the kind words and good advice…