How do You know when you are old?

You know your old when…

Your wife makes a sexual innuendo and it takes you several seconds to get it.

Foreplay means your wife does not immediately put on the cpap machine when coming to bed.

You can’t remember the last time you ran… for anything!

You goto the store and you forget your mask and your wallet!

You begin a task and forget to finish it… wait nope doesnt count that is ADD.

Anyone else??



Ehm what was the question ?

  • Everything that works hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
  • You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.
  • Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
  • Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
  • Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep.
  • You look forward to a dull evening.
  • Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
  • You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
  • You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
  • Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
  • At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal.
  • Your back goes out but you stay home.
  • When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
  • When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
  • When happy hour is a nap.
  • When you’re on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
  • When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
  • When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
  • Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
  • It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
  • Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
  • The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

You have a favorite spatula…and get upset when it breaks (this was literally me this week).

You walk into the kitchen to get something, but can’t remember what it was. So you go to the living room, grab a book and start reading until your spouse screams at you that the steaks are burning again!

OMG - from the first list I was old 30 years ago - minus the whole wife part.

When you are talking to someone younger:

  1. Every movie you mention they’re talking about the remake in the last five years. You’re talking about the original 30, 40, or 50 years ago.
  2. While you know exactly what Tik Tok, Instagram, etc. are you maintain the quizzical dog look to shorten the foray into Madness.
  3. You suppress the personal urge to understand whether their family, spouses, and friends being discussed are male, female, singular, or plural.

Your bathroom has enough powders, creams, and ointments to think that you may indeed be an Alchemist both in game and out.

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When I realized how much I like flannel.

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Ladies…the first time you have a young person give you their seat on a full bus

And there’s…the first time you get called m’am

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When you have turned into your parents.

When a reinstall meant…

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When I realized how much I miss rotary phones, and lps, and tubes, oh boy do I miss tubes

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What was the question? :wink:

Old is anyone more than 10 years older than you. Young is anyone 10 years younger than you. This scale slides your whole life.

George Carlin once said younger women are always beautiful and so the problem is the older we get the more beautiful women there are and the less we can do to satisfy them.