Dog blues

I had to put down our 13yr old golden retriever Annie on Sunday. She was refusing food, could not stand and was lying in her own urine, was in pain, and had internal bleeding as shown by white gums. It was time.

It has been hard on us all. I think when it hurts the most is when we notice the hole in our lives. My son was doing the dishes, and he remembered she used to watch him, and he broke down. My wife took the surviving dog Hero out this morning, and was really hurting. I sing a stupid goodbye song before I go to work (started doing this when the kids were young and had separation anxiety, just kept doing it for the dogs), and I lost it this morning.

I know some people who say no more when their dogs die. My parents for instance had 3 go in short order and have been without dogs.

Not me. I want a new pup. Something about the pain you feel at that life gone that reminds you of how great that life was, and it makes me want to seek out new life. There you go, my $0.02 epiphany for the day.

Daughter in SF is having a hard time. She FaceTimed us during the procedure, and my son was her arms. Annie was her dog.

We saw her going downhill for a while now. We did go out to the cabin in WVa one last time for Annie. She swam in the pond on a great sunny day. We gave her a pork chop for dinner. Ticked that off the bucket list.

So here I am with a bad case of dog blues.

Update- about a week has passed since we put Annie down. A wood box with her name and her ashes arrived. We have gone from hurting daily to renewing our relationship with the surviving dog, Hero. He was always the submissive one of the pair, and now seems to be slowly adjusting to being the focus of the family. It really helped having a low key stay at home weekend last weekend. Working while grieving was hard.

My wife walks him more, and that seems to be helping both of them. For my daughter in SF, I think the reality of it will not hit until she comes home late summer for our beach trip.

I have pushed for a puppy, but my wife wants to wait until we are done travelling for the year and have a lot of time home. I think about all those pictures we took as her end was nearing, and I do not want to see any of them. I like instead the action shots of a younger Annie.


Honestly, you did what was best for Annie. I have had a lot of my dogs die over the years and yeah they are family. I feel your pain man. My dogs sleep with us, which actually makes it worse when they go, but I have been sleeping with my dogs since I was a little kid, so I am not changing. My only real hope is that my dogs will join me in the hereafter. I would like that. Most of the time, I like dogs better than people, which probably isn’t right but it is true. :slight_smile:


Hugest of hugs, Snydelee to you and your family. :heart:

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I still miss the dog I grew up with - a miniature poodle named Fitzi. She went everywhere with us, even to school (my parents were the teachers.) We got her in the spring of my 7th grade year, and the folks finally put her to sleep when my older daughter was a year or so old.

We have a rescue poodle now, named Snickers. He has learned to shut the door after he goes outside and is rewarded with a carrot; he loves carrots! He’s getting older, too. We’ve had him 7 years, and he was several years old when we got him. Dreading the day that life for him is no longer worth it, but so glad he is part of our family now.

Get that puppy and make new memories… :broken_heart:

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Hugs to you, sorry to hear you lost a fur friend. Dogs are my spirit animals, I will never want any animal companions over dogs. I have three dogs myself currently all rescues/adoptions. The pain from losing a pet is hard and it’s the one thing I dread about having pets, but it is the price we pay for having them in our lives.

I personally believe that when a pet passes away, one should not stop them from filling that void when they feel the time is right. Our pets that have passed would not want us to hurt forever and I don’t think they would want that love to go to waste. I think that in spirit they know that even though we get a new pet, we will never love those that are gone any less and we will always cherish the memories we have of their companionship and love for us.

I’m getting a little choked up at work typing this, so I will say no more.

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So sorry for your loss, pets are part of our family too. I agree with you re. getting a new pup, there are so many in need of a good home.

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I have this fond dream that when my time comes, I will know it, because every dog I ever had will come running to me again


Sorry for your loss, it’s been a big year for losing cats and a dog for us too.

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Sorry for your loss. I buried my last dog, a constant companion, when I was 35 and now Im 70. No more dogs for me other than myself and my wife as we are part dog forever and to each other.

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Oh my…so sorry to hear about your loss. Condolences and great big hugs sent your way. Find yourself another to help moving forward.

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I am so sorry for your loss. Saying goodbye to my dog was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Sorrow is the memory of what once gave us great joy. Eventually, the sorrow will fade - but the joy of your memories with Annie never will.

My best to you and your family.


So sorry to hear. My condolences. Been there many times and it is never easy.

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Sorry to hear that Snydelee, we had almost the same experience just last year. We too used Facetime for my oldest daughter to be there at the end and it was hard. All I can say is that it’s good to remember our friends, and there is a new friend waiting to join your family somewhere. We found ours at the local humane society, and it’s nice to have a dog to hug when you remember the one that is gone.


So sorry for your loss. Why we were given best friends with such a comparatively short life span seems the cruelest joke, but I try to tell myself it’s because they live and love so well while they are here.


I have tears in my eyes, so sad to hear this. Pets are family too. Best wishes.


So very sorry for the loss of a loved one! No advice, since everyone is different! My experiences though, I’ve had and mourned pets for all of the 54 years I can remember ( my parents bred and trained black labs, and later after retirement became fosters, so my first memories are of crawling all over Duke and Lady as an infant). Even though each loss hurts, I love pets, and for me, life is just a little emptier without them!


So sorry for your loss… they’re family. I’ve lost a few over the years and I cherish the time with every one of them.


Yes, today’s memory on Facebook was both of our yellow labs who passed this year. One of them, just last week at 12 years old. We are still awaiting his ashes and it’s tough. Especially for my wife, who is the vet tech and took him to be PTS after finding many tumors in his chest.

Be strong and replace that good boy if you need to!

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Just to update you guys, we got a new pup-pup on 27 July. He is another golden retriever, named Gimli. The kids and wife loved that name, and I got outvoted, but it is a pretty good one.

Boy what a huge disruption going from old dogs to new pups.

First the surviving old dog, Hero, has not been dealing well with the pup. Hero is pretty submissive and does not growl at the pup when he has had enough. He just looks at us in misery. The pup lunges at the older dog and bites, last night nipping his tongue and causing him to bleed. That was the point at which biting type play is now off the table in the house, and we are refocusing upon balls and retrieving. The dog has a sweet disposition and does seem to respond to verbal correction here, but he sometimes forgets. When the pup blooded Hero, he knew he had done wrong and shrank down on the carpet.

We are dealing with a difficult crating session. Both my wife and myself work 12hrs before coming home again, so we have set up one of the kids rooms as a safe room for him to be in during the day, and we have contracted a neighborhood girl to pop in and play with him during the day. Problem was he pitched a fit when we tried it last night, scratching and scrabbling at the door. I put him back in the crate where he quieted him down, but that is no 12hr solution. I suppose we need to play with him some in that room so he has some positive associations.

We got a pup collar for walking and have been walking the pair. Seems like the pup going first at high pace works out best for both dogs, as the older slower dog can take it at a more stately pace and not worry about a torpedoing pup shark attacking him from the rear. We are working on the teeth-first lunge of the pup, and maybe in a few weeks they can walk together. Pup is 9wks old now, and already getting pretty good at staying on the left and sometimes walking parallel and not ahead of the human. Those walks seem to take out a lot of destructive energy with the pup, and I think is helping the pup acclimate to the ‘pack’.

Fetch is hard. The old dog will chase the ball, if he marks it (his vision is not as good as it used to be), and sometimes will bring it back if he does not get distracted. He sure has fallen off of pace since his younger years when I could do that all day long. Pup has no role model on fetching, so I have to start from scratch. I have been working with ‘give’ and ‘take’ where the tennis ball goes in and out of the mouth with lots of praise. And I give him praise when he brings it back. But right now he has puppy ADD and will lose interest and chase something else.

Pup also has ‘bananas’ mode, about 10 min after eating. If you do not really play with him or walk him, he will slink about the room in dark corners and chew on power cords. So it is feed, walk now. Puppy proofing rooms takes some time, as no matter how many “yes-yes’s” we put out, he finds the “no-no”. He is not bull headed and a simple no will get him to back off. But he is smart and will drag a “yes-yes” next to a “no-no” and ‘accidentally’ chew the “no-no”.

Pup is also getting better at pitching a fit at night when he needs to poop. Now, more often than not, his cries in the night are related to needing to go out, and one of us will stumble out and do it.

I have also been trying to repair the lack of trust between older dog and pup-pup. I will put the older dog in a lie down, and pet him, then bring the pup over and pet him as well, and make sure the chewing end is away from the older dog. There is still a lot of trauma though with the incessant nipping.

Also been doing sit/OK. You put dog in sit, hold it there, then release it on OK. Pup seems very responsive.

Anyway I forgot about all of this, since the last pups were 11+ years ago and we had kids all over them.


Grats Snydelee!

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