In an effort not to wear myself out, I am writing this for a few groups of those who I trust with what’s going on with me.
First good news bad news. I need hearing aids, and after about 6 months after being told I needed them, I was able to order them. I should have them tomorrow at this point if all goes well. Pretty sure the unable to hear literally half of any word sounds was increasing my stressed state, and the more and more frequent melt downs. It literally has become part of my mental well being to get them ASAP.
Next, of things that have recently become a “thing.”
I am now pre-diabetic, and have a continuous glucose monitor on me all the time now.
I am being seen by a cardiologist, and have a heart monitor on for a month while it takes my readings to see if the ER visit late July was a heart issue, or something else. We are kinda at the see what needs ruled out point. I am about to have a fight with insurance tho, because they think that denying the stress test is a smart move.
I have also started PT. My stability, and being able to actually do things, like stand at a stove without doubling over in pain, and being able to walk around in a large store with a shopping cart, as opposed to HAVING to get an electric cart are going to be addressed, we hope.
I NEED to get into therapy, but… between the LOW amount of available therapists in my area who AREN’T “faith based” or you can tell by their write up would NOT be a good fit, its hard. Add to that each visit would be ANOTHER co-pay when I am already struggling with making the co-pays of the ones KEEPING ME ALIVE and still being able to, you know… eat?
It hasn’t been easy.
And that’s even before you get into any interpersonal drama that will upset me and send me into non-verbal states or even full on disassociating.
It’s been rough, but I am pushing thru to the best of my ability.
My ex-husband’s grandmother used to say, “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken.” She lived well into her 90s.
Getting old is a real challenge sometimes!
“pulling out my pom poms to cheer Akasa along” In your corner cheering you to victory. As for that insurance…get mad at them and contact your governmental insurance regulatory agency and see if they have anything they can help you with.
Sometimes having someone in the governmental agency for whatever issue you are facing, helps a lot. If not reported, nothing will change. I know it sounds insurmountable at this point but take it one step at a time and concentrate on that step before taking the next one and so on. Its not worth your anxiety to worry beyond that step directly before you…I know, I’ve been there.
Tunnel vision in some cases can help alleviate that worry. My mom used to tell my sisters and me that if you worry about all the steps you have not taken yet, you won’t get past that first one that is necessary.
Big hugs! And that’s about all I can say about that, I’m afraid. Sounds all too familiar.
Hearing aids are a revelation when you first get them and you soon get used to being able to understand all conversation again “sorry didn’t catch that” is a phrase soon forgotten. Music is a joy again as the full sound spectrum is now available at least is was to me , It was like when I got my cataracts done and realized how white everything was instead of a misty grey. Sure they are not perfect but once you get into a routine of cleaning and recharging life is good again.
Putting up with people caring for you at home is difficult at times but after some time you will end up with some good people whos attention and care will keep you at home and out of hospital. I myself have had carers at home daily for the last 17 years , yes that’s sometimes 3 times a day for 365 days a year. Home is always the best place to be.
Don’t give up every step is moving forward
My heart goes out to you Akasa.